Crying for the second time in London

Three years ago, a little idea sneaks into my head: I could learn English in England. Where else could you learn English more efficiently and quickly if not in the country where everybody speaks it? Unfortunately, I came from a poor family and I wasn’t able to start a professional career earlier. During my master’s degree in France I took 2 students jobs trying to support my family, to finance my studies and to save money for my English dream. Big responsibility for me…should I decide to invest 4000 pounds for living and studying at the London Metropolitan University during three months? Investing in knowledge is always useful, but for me 4000 pounds is not just a huge amount

4,000.00 GBP=18,307.97 RON

1 GBP = 4.57699 RON

1 RON = 0.218484 GBP

…but mainly it is a sacrifice. You might not know but this amount is the equivalent of my parents’ wage for 3 years and three months.

… I have decided to invest my economies in my dream thinking there will be other opportunities in the future to help my parents.

I have been in London for 6 weeks. I was quite satisfied after my first month of studies here and confident that the next month things will be better…but there are worse.

I'm waking up in the morning and I’m asking my self: should I go to the school or not? What changed so dramatically?

I thought I’m a tolerant person and I can easily integrate a group. But I have difficulties to integrate the silver class. I miss my classmates from the last month and I miss that atmosphere. There are so many things that I don’t like this month.

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Firstly I feel that I learned nothing new. I event don’t know the names of all my new classmates after 2 weeks. Some people speak and speak and speak …not because they have something interesting to say but just for speaking…and the time passes, the class finish and I return disappointed “home” with an empty knowledge baggage…another day I waste. I spend 2 hours in the tube to go at school and stay in one room for three hours doing nothing.

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My favourite teacher from last month has changed also…I don’t feel he’s happy teaching us...is more like an obligation to spend with us 1hour and 30minutes. Nobody read my blog anymore…and maybe I’m miserly, but I find that printing is expensive. Is the first time I learn in a University where you have to pay for everything (to print, to photocopy, to participate at social programmes)…and I don’t have the budget for that.

Something is wrong with my background for the research report…I changed it three times and printed three times, but my teacher doesn’t appreciate it. Likely he’s right because he’s the teacher, but I still don’t understand how can I improve my writing. Or I’m too stupid, or everyone is tide in this class.

…but in the end I don’t blame anyone for my unhappiness. Is just my fault…I’m not able to adopt an appropriate approach for this situation, I don’t know how to change things and I start to hate my self.